As Barnum Said

*By John R. Mabry | Jr. High | 1976 | 14 years old*

Bartholomew yelled through the screen door, "Hurry up, Dale!" Dale burst through the door, hungry, unusually so, after the boys' long swim.

"That sun is unmerciful!"

"What?" asked Dale, thinking of writing a book, 1001 WAYS TO DIE OF STARVATION.

"I said, it hasn't rained in a month."

"Oh."

Dale pointed to the nearest wet spot, this side of his swimming pool; it was the old McAnnski place: "It was flooded yesterday. Just look at that mud, ooooh."

"Don't get disgusting, Dale."

"Sorry, Bartholomew, but--"

The boys' conversation ws interrupted by the owner, Mr. McAnnski, who rushed out, screaming, "I've been robbed!" Then rushing up to Dale and Bartholomew, continued. "Boys, BOYS, call the police!"

Bartholomew felt a surge of excitement rush through hiim. "What was stolen?"

"Oh! A family hierloom, handed down from generation to generation, a Greek vase!"

"Did you see anyone, Mr. McAnnski?"

"No--wait, yes. Link Litteral, he was coming through the gate just as I was pulling up in the van. See his footprints in the mud?" He pointed to gaping holes in the ooze filled with water.

"Speaking quite LITTERALLY," said Bartholomew, snickering before Dale jabbed him in the ribs. After catching his breath he suggested to Mr. McAnnski that he call the police. To Dale, he said, rather under his breath, "Let's get to the Litteral's before the police do."

"Right!" Dale agreed readily, tying his now-muddy shoes.

Upon arriving at the Litteral's Bartholomew and Dale were greeted by a slim 16-year-old in bath slippers, who asked them in. Dale ws a littel embarrassedof his guild, when Bartholomew said, "Where you down by Mr. McAnnski's place today?"

Seemingly uninterested, Link replied, "No, I just came in from playing baseball, why?"

Bartholomew peered past Link, his eye lighting on an old Greek vase. Dale looked upon his friend couriously. Link was getting nervous. "What's the vase for, Link?"

Link stammered, "A-a-a school project. I'm studying ancient Greece."

Hang it up, Link." Dale said smiling, his friend had that look of satisfaction on his face, meaning only one thing, he had figured everyting out. Dale scratched his head. HE hadn't.

Epilogue:

"What do you mean, 'Hang it up'?"

"He means," Bartholomew said proudly, "That YOU stole Mr. McAnnski's vase."

"You can't prove that!" shouted Link.

"Oh yes he can," said Dale, not at all sure that HE could at all.

"Every criminal makes a mistake," said Bartholomew, bubbling with pride. "Here are yours: First, when you asked us in you did not request us to take off our shoes, meaning that either your family does not mind shoes in the house or the floor is durty anyway, right now you have slippers on, you really don't think that we'd believe that you played baseball in those, do you? So why would you imply that? Maybe you said that to hid the fact that you got your shoes muddy at the McAnnski's. Second, this is summer and--"

"And shool is OUT!" interrupted Dale. "How absurdly simple!"

"Quite so!" Smiled Bartholomew back at him. Just then a police car roared up. "We'd like to ask you a few questions," he was suprised to learn that Link had a confession to make.

"Just one thing, Bartholomew."

"Yeah, Dale?"

"What was the motive?"

"That puzzles me, but you know what Barnum said."

"No, not really," said Dale, straddling his bycicle.