Focus: The Difficult Issue

*published in Presence: The Journal of Spiritual Directors International, September1998*

For the first two weeks of my internship in spiritual direction, we learned the tradition, read a lot of books, and practiced in our small groups. By week three, we were ready for the real thing, or so I thought.

I awaited my first "official" session as a spiritual director with great anticipation, feeling "on the cusp of the Holy," eager to companion another on the way. My first directee was an elderly woman with a sweet demeanor, a lifelong Catholic who wanted to deepen her prayer life. "Piece of cake!" I thought after the intake interview.

The day of our first session I greeted her at the door, and invited her to sit quietly for a few minutes. I opened our session with prayer, and waited for God to do God's thing.
To my surprise, my directee shoved an enormous Bible under my nose and demanded, "What does it say about homosexuality in here? I want to know."

Yikes! "Uh, well..." I stammered, racking my brain for anything in my training which might give me a clue as to the "proper" way to respond to her. No clue was forthcoming, so I attempted to sidestep it. "Well, I could certainly tell you where it is mentioned in the Bible, but I'm more interested in why you are asking."

There was no sidestepping this one, however. "I want to know your personal opinion." She said flatly.

So, feeling very much backed into a corner, I gave her my opinion, certain that I had done the wrong thing, that I had given her too much of my own mind; that I had, in fact, been too "directive" by actually teaching theology in the session rather than letting her own theology emerge.

What actually happened, however, was that my own honesty in answering her question laid the foundation of trust that all of our subsequent work was built on.

From this rather "difficult" beginning, I have come to see that not every great move is in the playbook. Not every direction situation is covered in Barry and Connolly, and sometimes one actually does have to "color outside the lines" to make art.

This question of how much of one's own "stuff" to bring into a session is a thorny one. "When is direction too directive?" has been debated in spiritual direction circles for a long time.
In this edition we face "difficult" issues head-on, with articles likely to make some folks cheer and others squirm. N. Graham Standish kicks off this issue with "Directive Forms of Spiritual Direction: Methods and Merits," contrasting directive with nondirective approaches to the art, and most sensitively exploring the appropriateness and use of a directive method.

Our final article also falls into the "difficult" category, addressing the problematic issue of "The Art of Confrontation." In this piece Barbara Sheehan, SP explores the use of confrontation, revealing it to be an essential part of spiritual direction when used compassionately and appropriately.

In addition to these two provocative pieces, Peg Thompson also tackles a difficult subject indeed with her article on "The Coming Out Process in Spiritual Direction." This fine article focuses on the continual struggle for affirmation and acceptance experienced by lesbians and gays on the spiritual path, and how, indeed, "coming out" is a process which never ends.

Andre Heuer's column "A Pilgrim's Guide to the Internet" might also conceivably fit into our "difficult" category, but is well worth the effort. This issue Andre reveals the nitty-gritty basics that a person needs to be aware of in order to successfully link to, and navigate, the Internet. Reading the basics touched on in this brief column may save you hours of frustration on the telephone with some dubiously-monikered "help line."

The entire issue is not quite so "difficult" as these provocative pieces, however. Craig M. Mueller's article on "Dreams and Spiritual Direction" is an excellent introduction to the use of dream imagery in direction, while Jane Vennard provides us with the very useful image of "The Compassionate Observer" for spiritual directors in formation. The issue concludes with a helpful, completely up-to-date comprehensive index, arranged by subject.

Please write us and share your responses with fellow Presence readers - our next issue's "Readers Respond" column will be one to watch! v

- John R. Mabry

P.S. This August, as I was preparing this issue, the North American continent was blessed with the most active meteor showers in several years. I only caught glimpse of one shooting star, but it was one which I shall never forget. Thus, the shooting star screened behind the beginning of each article in this issue commemorates the meteor showers of 1998.