Luke 5:1-10 | John 21:1-12 | Breakfast by the Lake

My grandparents have a very traditional relationship. My grandmother cooks, cleans and looks after the house, and my grandfather, who is retired now, of course, watches television. Now, it is a tradition in my family, as it is in many others, to go shopping on the day after Thanksgiving and to try to get as much Christmas shopping done as possible before one runs out of money or steam. A couple of years ago we were resting our feet in the mall when we realized how late it was. "We should be getting home, Grandad will be getting hungry," my Aunt said. But to my great surprise, my Grandmother waved her off, "If he gets hungry enough, he'll find something to eat." She said.

"If he gets hungry enough, he'll find something to eat." Is a much more profound saying than it first appears, at least it is to me, for it very clearly describes my search for spiritual community as an adult. After becoming very dissillusioned with the Baptist church of my upbringing and with the Episcopal church of my college years, I spent a great deal of time feeling like a spiritual outcast; like I didn't belong anywhere. There didn't seem to be any place in the churches for an intellectual Baptist or a poor Episcopalian, and for some time, I floundered.

I don't think I am unusual. I think most folks my age have an overarching feeling of distrust and disillusionment about religious and social institutions. There doesn't seem to be a place for us in these places. Our input is not welcome, and our critiques of how these institutions are structured and run are certainly not welcome. So we are left to fend for ourselves.

But like my grandfather, it can also be said of me, "If he gets hungry enough, he'll find something to eat." Since there were no spiritual communities in which I felt welcome, or which worked for me, I had to go and find them. More accurately, I had to go and create them. The Concord Chapter of Fundamentalists Anonymous was the first of these communities. Others came and found that it was what they were looking for, too. And as our needs changed, the group changed as well. Some folks left, some joined. We changed our name, our order of ritual, the language we use about God. In one form or another that group has continued on into the present. We now call ourselves The Festival of the Holy Names, and it is still changing. One thing is certain. It will be whatever those involved in it NEED it to be.

After several years I stumbled across another community which has come to mean a great deal to me, The Grace Community. The first morning I visited here, I thought, "how quaint, and how frankly bizarre" for you have to understand that the first time I attended worship here the Berkeley Opera was in the middle of a run of performances, and had converted this worship space into the likeness of a Roman Forum, with a slanted stage, ionic columns and the like. And in the midst of this to experience a worship service using a 500 year old Elizabethan liturgy, led by a man who looks like Alan Watts and talks like a theosophist. I was in surrealists' heaven!

But the real surprise awaited me when I stayed after the service for what they called their "town meeting." Imagine how amazed I was to discover what was essentially an Anglican Catholic community that was not subject to the whims of a bishop, and was not run by the priest! No, in this meeting I discovered that this odd little community was a true community, making decisions by consensus, making their own decisions. The priest, I discovered, did not even get a vote when the time came for a decision to be made. He spoke his mind, and then acceded to the will of the congregation. I quickly realized that what I had stumbled onto here was a bold experiment: the formation of a Congregational Catholic Church, a community of people who revered ritual and tradition, but who also would be lorded over by no one. And of course, I had to be a part of that.

I soon learned many other amazing things about this community. I learned that amongst these people I could be myself. I learned that I could stand up in the pulpit and declare "I am a heretic!" without reprisal, and that my friends is no mean feat. The truth is that this community worships in a Christian fashion, but these rituals are not interpreted in an exclusive manner. People of all faiths or no faith are welcomed here as full members. We were proud to say that we had an athiest on our board of directors for years, although I believe that today she might have softened into considering herself an agnostic.

And that is another marvelous thing about the Grace Community, there is the openness to change. Father John went from being a Catholic to a Universalist, and nobody seemed to mind; the sermons even seemed to get a bit more interesting. Here I was told, "you can start any ministry you feel called to do--here is the space to do it, here are the people to support you." We started monthly lectures where anyone could sign up to speak on any topic under the sun. We started a Sunday School where children would be taught not only from the Bible, but with an openness to the religious traditions of all the peoples of the world. And now, with our Soulful Sunday Celebrations, we are creatively expanding again.

At our last service of this kind, Donna spoke about her dream for the church of the future. I'd like to speak about my dream for OUR future. So much of what I want from a church is already in place here; egalitarian, congregational, open to diverse theologies and philosophies. What more could a philosophy head want?

Well, everyone wants MORE. My biggist difficulty in being a part of this community has been, quite frankly, with the words we use to pray. I have long dreamt of a Eucharistic celebration which uses language that everyone can understand, that is elegant and worshipful and at the same time is sensitive to power and gender issues. Too often our liturgies are addressed to a God in the sky who holds the universe, including the church in some heirarchical order. These liturgies also are built upon a theology that most of us no longer adhere to. My dream is to be able to pray prayers that I actually believe, and to present them in language which is not hurtful to myself and to so many other people. My own wife cannot attend our services because the words we use to pray are so terribly painful. The language we use is beautiful and magestic and was at one time appropriate, but nowadays it has a tendency to alienate and wound a great many people. And that is not, I think, what we are supposed to be about, here.

Our Soulful Sunday Celebration is specifically intended to address these kinds of concerns. At this service, it is my hope to hold out to our community the full promise of what a Community of Grace can be: not just beautiful, but truly inclusive of everyone present; not just egalitarian, but truly empowering, inviting people to see their daily lives as spiritual journeys; not just Congregational, but truly owned by all of us here, so that everyone knows if you have a dream, you can tell us what it is, and we will help you fulfil it. Not just welcoming, but inviting, a place where you can feel at home regardless of your gender, your race, your religion or your sexual orientation. We're just folks, here. And if you're here, we're glad. I dream of a community which is not close-ended and focused on the past, but open-ended and embracing of whatever the future might hold.

When the disciples found themselves at the end of a very frustrating and unsuccessful night of fishing, Jesus not only gave them more fish than their nets could safely hold, but he fixed them breakfast as well. They weren't hungry for esoteric teaching or theological treatises. They were tired and soul-sick, and famished. And so Jesus fixed a charcoal fire, and fried up some of their fish. Jesus has a knack for knowing exactly what it is we are hungry for. But it is up to us whether or not to jump out of the boat. Jesus is ready with the fire, if we are ready with our nets, with our efforts, with our will.

And Jesus meets us around this table every week. Regardless of whether you are a Christian, regardless of whether or not you "feel close to God", whatever that means. Whether or not you feel at home in this or any other community, Jesus fixes a meal in our midst, and he invites us to eat.

When I came to this community, I was hungry, and I found food for my soul here. And as I grew and changed, I found I was still hungry. And I continued to find food here. But it was also partly because I had the will to go after it, too. "If he gets hungry enough, he'll find something to eat," my grandmother said. In this place, I have found the coals burning, the fish frying, and the promise of more fish to come.

But this is not just MY community. It is OUR community. I have spoken about what my dream is for this religious community, the gifts I have found, and I have also told you about what I felt I still needed, and how I was given the grace to go and seek that out, to make it happen. This morning I would like to extend that same grace to you: what are you still seeking in a spiritual community? The U2 song says "I still haven't found what I'm looking for." I invite you to participate in this sermon, and to express your longings and desires for a spiritual community. Tell us about what you haven't found. We are a community of Grace, we listen to each other, and we try to give each other what we need. You may give us inspiration, and we might be able to serve you the kind of breakfast you are hungry for; or point you in the direction where you might find it. We may not be the place where you are called to be, but at least this morning, we can listen to and acknowledge your needs. So I ask you again, "What are you hungry for? What do you need in a spiritual community that you haven't found?"

Let us pray.

God you are the source of both our greatest hunger
And our most satisfying sustenance
You have instilled in us a great desire for you
And you prepare a feast in our midst
Through the friendships you bless us with,
Through the scriptures of every tradition which enlighten us
Through your Holy Wisdom with which you have giften each and every soul capable of truly listening,
Through the beauty of your creation, through the simple joy of a hearty breakfast
You feed our spirits in ways we cannot count nor comprehend.
Help us not to despair in our search for your Spirit,
Help us to find friends who will support us and nurture us,
And help us most of all, to be such a friend to any and all who come seeking,
Give us the grace, not to be leaders lording power over others,
but to be humble beggars, showing other beggars where to find bread.
For it is upon you that we truly feast, not just at this table,
but in our hearts forever. When we are hungry enough, help us to find something to eat. Amen.